Cradle Eyes
by fadingvoice
Summary: I knew that we weren’t meant to be. I knew and I wanted him anyway. I knew and I loved him anyway. --A Morgana and Arthur story of what happens when you defy destiny.
1. Intro

I knew that we weren't meant to be. I knew and I wanted him anyway. I knew and I loved him anyway.

I had been dreaming for years. Dreams so terrifying that just the spoken word made Gaius quiver at times. And yet, never before had I had a dream that haunted me. One that invaded my thoughts and imprinted itself onto my soul. Most of my dreams were about events soon to come. A death, blood, evil. This was not a dream of such sorts.

_The sun shined brightly down upon Camelot as the people gathered around the castle. Arthur stood on the balcony, Uther's crown upon his head, saying "I do" to the woman holding his hands and staring into his eyes. Gwen. They both gazed into each others' eyes, smiling bright for the entire city to see. They were in love._

I awoke gasping for air, a tight pain in my chest. Tears were running down my face as I threw the covers off of my sweating body. Luckily, I hadn't woken up Gwen, the last person I wanted to see at the moment. Instead, I drew my knees to my chest, thanked God that no one had heard me, and tried to convince myself that the future was not set in stone.


	2. ducing

I had been Uther's ward for most of what I could remember. He was like a father to me, in some ways. Of course, there was my plot to assassinate him; but that was in the past, when I didn't realize that he wasn't a soulless man. He was a flawed human being, just like anyone else. Yes, that didn't exactly grant him immunity from my scorn at some of the things he said and did, but it reminded me that murder isn't always the answer…Sometimes. Maybe. Needless to say, I was still debating on whether to arrange the assassination of my "almost" father.

Enough of my tangent, the point is that I grew up with Arthur. I'd been with him through every major event in his life, and the same with mine. We knew each other through and through, and were best friends. Things were slightly awkward once we hit the teenage stage, where neither wanted to admit that there was an attraction, but we came together again by the age of sixteen. And it was then that I realized that I was in love with him. It had been a gradual love, but the moment I knew it was instant.

He wasn't feeding the hungry or fighting in a tournament or some other thing that would make most girls swoon. We were sitting in the courtyard as I embroidered. He was pacing, completely bored, and trying to decide what exercises he wanted to do for sword fighting for my lessons that afternoon. I smirked, shaking my head knowing that this was Arthur. He was ready to conquer the world and wanted to start immediately. It was as automatic as that. He was Arthur and I loved every part of him, even the impatience and anger. But, looking at him, I knew that he wasn't ready for love or to be loved. He wouldn't be for a long time, but that didn't stop me from loving him anyway.

As time went by, my love only solidified, and there were even days when I thought he might possibly return my feelings. Five years later I was still wondering, even though slightly more sure that he returned my affection than I was then. Even though we argued almost constantly, it was like we were dancing around what we really wanted to say. At that time, it had seemed quite possible that one day I could be with Arthur. It seemed possible every day until I had that dream. All the hopes I'd had of sitting by Arthur's side as he ruled in justice and peace died with that dream.

--Sorry that these first two have been so short. It's kind of bringing you guys up to speed and whatnot. The next one will be longer!--


	3. a

After I had wakened from my dream, I stayed up for the dawn. It was a few hours off, but I wanted to avoid sleep more than anything at that moment. Instead, I put on my cloak and walked out into the night. The entire city was asleep, the guards included, as I drifted through the gates and out towards the woods. For some reason, the woods had always been a place of comfort for me. Even though flashes of Gwen and Arthur's wedding day still ran through my mind, they seemed dulled. Almost like I had been given a medication to numb my broken heart. Gaius had mentioned once or twice that the forest granted not only protection, but special powers, to those of magic. I found my feet walking me deeper and deeper into the darkness, my mind somewhere else. If my dream really _was_ what was to come to pass, what would become of me? If Gwen and Arthur…I shook my head, refusing to allow myself to believe it was true. Perhaps it was simply a dream of something I feared deep inside of me, like Gaius sometimes suggested; but I knew this wasn't the case.

Though it was still pitch black, I saw a small glimmer of orange flame ahead. Just as I spotted it, I was seen.

"You there!" someone whispered in a stern voice as they approached. "Who are you and what is your business here?" Stunned, I couldn't answer the figure. All I could see was the outline of his body as he grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me closer to the camp.

"Look who I've found," he hissed, throwing me towards the flames. I caught myself before falling, then righted myself and looked around. My face stopped on one person in particular.

"Morgana," he stated calmly, standing up and coming towards me. He embraced me, much to the surprise of his people, the Druids.

"Mordred," one of them began, standing and coming to his side. "This is the Lady Morgana you have spoken of? The one who helped you escape Camelot?"

"This is she." For one so young, his eyes told the story of lifetimes. The man beside Mordred turned to me, apologizing.

"I'm sorry, he did not know." I nodded, still getting my grasp on what was happening. "I am Alvarr."

"Morgana."

"What brings you to our camp, Morgana?" Alvarr questioned, not suspiciously, but curiously.

"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I had decided to go for a walk, and found myself here." Alvarr nodded.

"Those with power are often drawn to others with it. Though, your timing is quite odd. What is the king's ward doing wandering off alone in the middle of the night without protection?" I shook my head, not wishing to discuss it.

"Sometimes fate intervenes with sleep," I smiled slightly, thinking of how ironic this statement was.

"Will you not come and talk with us?" Alvarr asked, nodding over to some rocks on which the others sat. I looked to the sky, seeing that the darkness was already beginning to dissolve, and shook my head.

"If I am not in my bed at sunrise, they'll come looking for me." Alvarr nodded, then bid me farewell and rejoined the others. Mordred, however, remained.

"What happened in your dream?" he inquired. Looking into his eyes, I knew I couldn't lie to him.

"I saw Arthur…and his future bride."

"And it wasn't you." I nodded.

"Alvarr says you have a much greater destiny ahead of you than to be Arthur's bride." I smirked, thinking that there could be no greater destiny.

"Alvarr seems to think he knows a great did about me." Mordred nodded.

"He _sees_ you, Morgana." I stared at him. "Your destiny is more intertwined with his than with Arthur's." I shook my head.

"No. Arthur and I have grown up together. I've never seen Alvarr in my life. I-" Mordred only looked at me. "He has the sight, too?"

"Yes, and he's been having visions of you for months now."

"But he pretended as if he didn't know me." I was quite suspicious of Alvarr and found myself glancing back at him every once in a while.

"Would you rather he came up and hugged you?" I laughed aloud.

"No, I suppose not. Yet still," I paused, letting the words drift off. Alvarr? Alvarr and not Arthur? No, I refused to have it. "I should go." Mordred nodded.

"It is sunrise." Panic filled my body, causing me to flee. Looking back, I saw Mordred watching me. I had to get as far away from the Druid camp as I could. My feet carried me closer and closer to Camelot, but not quite fast enough. I reached the end of the forest to see one of the knights standing guard at the entrance of Camelot.

"Lady Morgana!" they called out, abandoning their post and running to me. "Are you hurt? You look as though you're out of breath." This knight was not particularly bright, seeming as I was basically wheezing as he loomed over me.

"I'm fine," I assured him, continuing to walk as quickly as I could towards the city.

--Reviews and suggestions much appreciated!--


	4. tale

Once inside the castle walls, I was bombarded by Gwen and Merlin. It happened so quickly, I almost didn't have time to realize that this was the woman who would take the love of my life from me. Almost.

"Where have you been?" Gwen questioned, worry and affection obvious in her tone. She had reached out and gripped my forearm, looking into my face for an answer.

"I was out for a walk," I replied more coldly than I'd meant. Her eyes saddened for a moment. As much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn't. I softened. "Please, Gwen. Don't worry about me. I woke up early and wanted to take a stroll." She nodded, though not entirely at ease.

"Did you have another bad dream?" I refused to answer this though, now turning to Merlin.

"And did I worry you, too, Merlin?" I questioned lightly. "I'm sorry. I should have let you know I was going out." Merlin blushed slightly.

"No, my lady. Prince Arthur sent me with Gwen to search the castle for you while he and the knights-" I was flustered for a moment, thinking of Arthur coming to my non-rescue, then realized what that meant.

"The knights? It's just past daybreak." I paused, thinking how silly it was that I couldn't be left alone for five minutes. "You should let him know that I'm here. Safe." Merlin nodded, then ran to go find Arthur. Turning around, I found Gwen looking at me with knowing eyes.

"You had another dream." I hated that she knew. That she was pitying me. Me, who she was going to take everything from. What would my future be without Arthur?

Coolly, I replied, "That is none of your concern." Her eyes went to the ground.

"You should have wakened me." Again, I found myself softening. She was my best friend. My sister. How could I hate her after all we'd been through together? When she was just as much a victim of fate as myself?

"No, Gwen," I insisted gently. "I've woken you up for too many nights with my dreams. I wanted to let you sleep."

"You could've at least told me that you were going out for a walk," she continued. "I thought you'd been kidnapped or something worse." I smirked.

"Not much could be worse." Gwen's eyes widened.

"You know they could!" she exclaimed. "What if a warlock were to find you? I don't think even Prince Arthur could protect you from a warlock." I nodded in agreement. But didn't I just come back from the Druid camp? If they had wanted me, they had the opportunity to take me.

I shrugged. "Well, I'm here and no warlock has taken over my soul." Gwen smiled slightly and I saw her entire demeanor relax.

"Thank God." Seeing her care for me, I told myself that I would be kind to her, even if it was forced at moments. We stood in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"I should go see Gaius," I told her, already on my way towards his chambers.

"Are you feeling alright?" Gwen inquired, a slight crease forming on her forehead.

"I think so. I'm just going to make sure." Moments later, I was with Gaius.

"Lady Morgana, everyone has been looking for you-"

"I know," I interjected. "They know I'm back." Gaius nodded, going about his work as he did so.

"And where _have_ you been?" he inquired, taking a moment to look at me. His eyes were suspicious, making me uneasy. I had always trusted Gaius with my dreams, but his eyes conveyed some sort of…distrust in me.

"Out for a walk." He paused for a split second before continuing his work.

"Before dawn?"

"Dreams, Gaius." He nodded.

"What happened in this one, my lady?" I hesitated for a moment, not quite sure what to tell him.

"I…I can't remember." I stuttered. "I just woke up with such an intense fear and this ache in my chest…" He was now staring at me. "Gaius, what if it's something awful and I can't stop it?" Even though I was faking, I could feel real tears springing. Gaius stood where he was, but I could see the pity in his eyes. He was licking up every word. "I-I should go." He nodded, returning to his work.

I left the room, but stood outside the door when I heard another voice begin to speak the moment I exited.

"What do you think her dream means?" the voice asked. It was Merlin, I was certain of it.

"Who can tell," Gaius replied. "She's not sure what she saw."

"But we can't just sit here and wait for it to happen." There was a silence, a few muffled footsteps.

"_He'll_ know."

"I'll go tonight." I heard footsteps approaching and immediately began running for my chambers.

--Reviews and suggestions much appreciated!--


	5. of

On my way to my rooms, I literally ran into Arthur. The force made us both stumble back, fumbling on our feet.

"Morgana, what the h---!" he exclaimed, regaining his footing. Mine, however, was still wobbly. He took me by the shoulders and steadied me. Looking into my eyes, he said, "So I see that this is your day to cause trouble." Pulling away sharply, I looked at him. He was Arthur. The same Arthur I'd seen in my dream, only younger and with a different posture. I felt betrayed, even though my reasoning told me that he had yet to betray me.

"If you've had your fun, I'll-" I was already walking away, but Arthur grabbed my wrist and forcibly stopped me.

"Morgana," Concern dripped from his lips as he said my name. "What is it? If it's something I said, I'm so-"

"No," I interrupted quickly. I refused to look at him; knowing that if I did, any resolve I had to be strong would crumble. I would either be hateful or fall into his arms for his protection. I couldn't do either, I was certain.

"Then what is it?" He then grabbed my waist and pulled me so that we were facing each other. I tried to keep my eyes on the ground, but Arthur forced my chin upward so that our eyes were locked. "Morgana." His eyes were drawing closer and closer. I could feel his breath upon my face. My eyes closed, his hands cupped my cheeks.

"Oh!" Merlin exclaimed from down the hall. Immediately, Arthur and I separated. Blushing, I walked towards my chambers, certain that my dream was nothing more than a trick my mind played on me. Arthur did return my feelings, and I carried that thought throughout the rest of the day and into my dreams.

_It's spring time. The sun is beating down upon Camelot as a little boy runs in the courtyard. His hair is a wavy blonde, flying with the wind. Not far away, Arthur and Gwen sit watching him, crowns upon their heads. Arthur holds Gwen's hand, rubbing Gwen's stomach with the other. She's pregnant._

Sweat ran like water down my back as I sat up, panting. My heart felt like it was literally shattered in my chest as I got out of bed. It was earlier than the night before, I could still hear a bit of bustle in the servants quarters. I'd be back before sunrise this time. Putting on my cloak, I didn't even hesitate to walk straight towards the forest; and, once again, they lead me to the Druids.

"Lady Morgana, you've returned," Alvarr greeted, taking my hand and leading me towards the fire. I nodded, feeling a sickness in my stomach and not able to say more. "Mordred will be very pleased."

"Where-Where is he?" I stuttered, taking in a deep breath.

"Just off. He'll be back soon," Alvarr stated nonchalantly. "So what brings you here?" I glanced up at his face, noting how handsome he was.

"I…" I didn't know how to word it. "I was hoping that you would accept me into the Druids." Alvarr smiled, not at all surprised. Surely he would not be a bad person to spend the rest of my life with, I assured myself.

"Mordred told you that our destiny's were intertwined." I nodded yet again. "Of course you may stay." He looked me up and down. "But you have no things."

"I wanted to be certain that you would take me in before I brought my things. Tomorrow night I'll come to stay." Mordred suddenly appeared beside Alvarr, a bright smile on his face.

"Morgana!" he exclaimed, hugging me. "Alvarr said you'd come to stay with us!" This was somewhat out of character for Mordred, but I welcomed it.

"Yes, tomorrow night I will come to stay," I informed him, his icy eyes warming. I would not have the love of Arthur here, but at least I wouldn't have to watch as the love between Gwen and Arthur blossomed. Despite what had happened between Arthur and I that day, I knew that my dreams were what would come to pass. I stared into the flames for a moment, realizing the life I was choosing for myself.

"This is what fate has chosen for us, my lady." Alvarr insisted, taking my head.

"So it would seem," I replied, my eyes not wavering from the fire.

"What will you tell them?" he inquired. I looked at him, knowing he meant Uther especially.

"What do you think I should tell him?" Mordred looked from Alvarr to me.

"Isn't it obvious?" Both Alvarr and I stared at Mordred in confusion. "We must kill you." My brow furrowed in confusion.

"How?"

"Tomorrow night," Mordred continued, "you'll come back to us. We'll rip up one of your cloaks, dip it in sheep's blood, and leave it by the river. They'll think the body fell in." Alvarr and I looked at each other for moment.

"It would work," Alvarr concluded. I nodded.

"And so will be the death of Lady Morgana, ward of King Uther."

I was reading Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, and she "--" the curse words and I found that really interesting. Reviews, please!


	6. friend

As the sun rose, I lay in my bed, eyes closed. I would never see Arthur or Gwen again. Even Merlin, who I wasn't particularly friendly with, would be missed.

"My lady," Gwen's gentle voice broke into the voices in my head. "It's time to get up." I nodded, feeling weary after so many nights of activity. Watching Gwen pour my water, I felt content. I was doing the right thing. She would be good for Arthur, and vise versa; and I would not be alone. Granted, I didn't know Alvarr well, but I knew Mordred. I would eventually leave this life in the castle behind…eventually.

"Did you sleep through the night?" she continued, pouring water into the basin. I nodded. "It's been quite a long time since that's happened, hasn't it." I smirked.

"Seems like an eternity."

"This is a good sign. Today there will be no worries of something happening to Arthur." She quickly corrected herself. "I mean, his lordship." I looked at Gwen for a moment.

"Do you care for him?" I asked. She seemed flustered for a moment.

"You know that my heart belongs to Lancelot," she stuttered, blushing.

"Do you love him?" Her eyes were looking at the ground now.

"I'm only a servant." I shook my head.

"That's not what I asked."

"…No. Not at this point in time." She seemed to visibly relax after finally admitting it. "I truly do love Lancelot." I felt happy, but pained that I was leaving for someone who didn't love him.

"Alright."

"Do you?" she inquired, curious. I looked at her for a moment, not sure how to react. I shook my head.

"No. No, I don't love him." Gwen nodded, a slight satisfaction on her face.

"You do like him, don't you Gwen?" I inquired, half out of wanting her to admit it, half out of honest worry. She blushed.

"Yes," she confessed. "I do." She stuttered, recovering herself. "But, of course, it could never be anything more than that." My stomach plunged, thinking of her carrying his child.

"You never know how things may turn out," I informed her, knowing all too well. "Things may be different when Arthur is king."

"Everyone's been saying that."

"Who's everyone?"

"Merlin."

"Merlin?" I could hear the tightness in my voice. I still had yet to find out who this _he_ was, but I knew that Merlin was not merely the uncoordinated servant Arthur thought him to be.

"Yes." Gwen then left me as my mind reeled, expecting me to change into the dress she had laid on my bed.

If Merlin had encouraged Gwen's feelings for Arthur, did this mean that he also had the sight? Or did it mean that Arthur returned Gwen's affections? Flashes of my dreams kept coming to mind. Surely Arthur couldn't be completely unfeeling towards Gwen if they were going to get _married_.

I suddenly found my life to be more like the gossip of a chambermaid than that of a lady, and decided to put all thoughts not pertaining to my "murder" out of my head.

"My lady," Gwen knocked, then came into my chambers. "Breakfast is served and the king is waiting for you." I nodded, the realization hitting me that this would be the last time I saw Uther. Both sorrow and relief rushed through me in knowing this. I wouldn't ever have to wonder if Uther would fall by my hand. Or my aid, at least.


	7. ship,

I entered the dining hall with grace and poise, seeing Uther at the head.

"Ah, Morgana," he greeted, a small smile on his face. "I'm glad that you've joined us." Arthur sat at the other end and I was to sit on the side, making it possible for both men to stare at only one side of my face.

The table was silent for a moment before Uther began rambling about taxes. One thing Uther did say caught my attention.

"Some villagers have reported that they saw sorcerers in the forests," he mumbled between bites of bread. My heart skipped a beat. Mordred and Alvarr were supposed to come for me.

"Are they certain they were sorcerers?" Arthur inquired, making my heart flutter. He'd never been pro-magic, but he had certainly tried to stop as much blood shedding as possible. Seeing this, I almost had hope that he could accept my magic. I then began the process of talking myself out of staying. I'd had two dreams already that confirmed that Arthur and Gwen would be. Nothing could change that.

Uther hesitated for a moment. "They seemed quite convinced." Arthur smirked slightly, though not enough for someone who wasn't looking for it to notice. "Perhaps you could search the forest?"

"I have a training session with my knights," Arthur apologized. "Since there have been a number of magical creatures lately, I thought it'd be best if we trained in a different way." Uther frowned, obviously displeased to hear that the "great knights" were little match for the beasts. Seeing this look, Arthur continued, "But afterward…I suppose I could take a scout." A bright smile spread across his father's face.

"Yes, that would do very well." Although I was basically ignored throughout their conversation, my mind was working underneath my calm exterior. If Arthur had training, that meant that I only had two and a half hours to get to Mordred and Alvarr, "die," and get as far away from the site as possible. It wasn't nearly as much time as I wanted, or needed. So, immediately, I asked to be excused and went towards my bedroom. Luckily, I'd thought to pack the night before. I reached under my bed for my sack, calculating that my "murder" would be an hour's walk from the castle.

"Morgana?" I quickly dropped the bag and turned around.

"Yes, Gwen?" She seemed suspicious.

"Is there something under the bed?" I stuttered.

"N-No. I thought I saw something."

"Is there-" Her kind face tore at me.

"No." Images of her holding Arthur's hands flashed before my eyes. "Please. Just go." She nodded, quickly exiting, leaving me only with the images. The silence consumed me, urging me to go somewhere. Somewhere with noise. Grabbing my bag, I took the quickest exit I could find out of Camelot that also provided cover. The tunnels.

The tunnels were quiet as I ran, already feeling my heart pumping through my chest. I constantly glanced back, certain that someone had missed me and begun the search; but there were no guards running after me, only shadows.

--Sorry that this chapter was so short! I just really wanted to get something out to you guys! The next one will be longer, I promise!--


	8. lies,

Time seemed to fade away until I finally reached the spot where I was supposed to meet Mordred and Alvarr. Sitting down, suddenly feeling the effects of the run, I glanced at my surroundings. Above me, tree branches blocked me from the sun, but no one was in them. Around me, there was no sign of any life. My mind was already beginning to form excuses as to why they weren't there yet, thinking that they'd found a hiding spot to rest and had simply fallen asleep. Or that because someone had reported Druids in the forest, they were making sure that it was me before approaching. Hearing footsteps, I pushed myself to my feet, ready to abandon the life I had lived; and then his face came into view.

"Morgana?" Arthur questioned bewilderedly. Covered shoulders to toe in armor, he looked like an angel as the light reflected. "What the h- are you doing here?"

"I thought you had training with the knights," I stated, my mind immediately thinking of Mordred and Alvarr, hoping that they were safe.

"My father persuaded me to train after searching the forest," Arthur explained, then returning to his question. "So, what are you doing here?" The perfect reason came to mind.

"I'm going to visit my father's grave." Arthur's face visibly fell, looking me up and down. He was now staring at my bag, filled with clothes. Suspicion was beginning to rise up in him.

"Where's Gwen?" he inquired. "And why do you have a bag? And why do you not have a horse?" His questions began rattling off.

"I…" I looked into his eyes, afraid to lie but also hoping that it would make it more believable. "It was something that I wanted to do alone. If I took a horse, someone would have to attend to it; and I brought the extra clothes in case it rained…" I then looked at the ground, not sure how to continue. Arthur then stood before me, taking my hands in his.

"I'm sorry. I know it's been hard for you and that sometimes you just want to face it alone." He paused. "But it's dangerous in these woods. You and Gwen were once taken, remember?" I nodded, remembering all too well. Arthur cupped my face in his hands, then forced me to look at him. "If you ever want someone who will just be there, not saying a word, just let me know." Looking at him, I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. Here was someone so honest and good, the man I loved, and I was running away from him. As much as I was reminded of his older face when I looked at him, the face that loved Gwen, I couldn't help myself. I loved him, and that was all there was to it.

"Arthur…" His face was so close, I couldn't think of words to say. He slowly drew nearer and nearer, like a tease that his lips would never reach mine. Just as I was inhaling, his mouth gently covered mine, filling my body with a craving for him. He pulled away too quickly, though, but still kept me close. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw his expressionless face. The smile I hadn't even known was on my face fell immediately.

"I've been running around the forest for the better part of an hour and I'm hot as h-. Would you do me the courtesy of removing my armor? His tone was the kind that he usually used with Merlin. The kind that someone used with someone they didn't love. I nodded, beginning to loosen the ties.

"Where is Merlin?" He scoffed.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Arthur replied sarcastically. A few minutes later, he was released from his armor, then went on to take off his shirt.

"What are you doing?" He smirked.

"Getting cooled off in the river, what does it look like?" I rolled my eyes.

"Alright then," I picked up my bag, hoping that I could somehow find Mordred and Alvarr despite the knights. "I'll be on my way."

"Morgana, wait," he pleaded, his hand circling around my wrist.

"What?" I snapped, ripping away from him.

"I-" he stuttered. I could tell that he was flustered, slightly blushing.

"What, Arthur? Just be a man and say it!" We then fell into an uncomfortable silence, waiting for someone to speak.

"You know I've never been good at saying what I feel," Arthur mumbled. Anger welled up inside of me. He was always pushing me away.

"What do you want me to say to that?" I retorted. "Do you-" He cut me off by wrapping his arms around me and kissing me wish a fire that the first kiss had lacked. At first, I didn't know how to react. I'd never been kissed before. But I found myself cupping his face, kissing him with just as much passion as he was showing me. I found my hands wandering down his exposed chest, covered in ridges where his muscles were defined. His tongue was soon massaging mine, bringing a moan unwillingly from my lips. He pulled away suddenly, looking down on me with that expressionless look again.

"Come on," he mumbled. "Let's go home." I nodded as he took my hand gently into his own, only slightly discomforted. As we headed back towards Camelot, I allowed myself to look back once, only to find the forest around me becoming a mass that I was unable to see through.


	9. prom

Returning to the castle, Arthur and I split up. He went to go find Merlin, wherever he might be, and I went back to my chambers, ready for a nap. I couldn't believe what had happened, or that I'd abandoned the plan to leave Camelot behind. But Arthur had kissed me. That changed everything. I hadn't slept in what felt like an eternity, so I had no trouble closing my eyes and letting my world become dark.

_Arthur sits at a dining table, smiling and laughing. Across from him sits his wife, the glowing Guinevere. Their son sits between them, happily eating as his parents speak of the due date of the child within Guinevere._

Unlike my previous Arthur/Gwen dreams, I don't wake frantic and like a scared animal ready to bolt at a sudden moment. The dream doesn't seem as painful as it always was. Arthur kissed _me_. Not Gwen. Me. My eyes flutter open, slowly taking in the light. I take my time getting out of bed, giving myself time to think things through. So, Alvarr and Mordred had never showed up…What would I do now? Go on as I had?

Pulling on a simple dress, I left my room to collide with Merlin.

"Morgana!" he stuttered, trying to subtly glance behind him. "I thought you were taking a nap."

"…I woke up," I replied, trying to look behind him. Merlin immediately jumped in my way, determined to keep me from seeing whatever he was hiding. "Merlin, stop it."

"Stop what?" he inquired, feigning innocence. I let out an exasperated sigh and pushed past him. He quickly followed behind me, trying to get me to turn back and go with him, but I refused. Reaching the end of the hallway, just turning the corner, I saw Arthur and Gwen. Close. Too close.

Seeing me, both were startled and immediately put a good two feet between them. My mouth became a thin line as my words poured out.

"Please, don't let me interrupt you." Arthur's face looked almost sorrowful, making me want to forget that I'd seen them together. But the dreams kept popping in my mind, hardening my resolve. I hated them both. Gwen for being such a harlot; and Arthur for…well, everything that Arthur did and would do.

"Morgana, it's not what it looks like," Arthur pleaded, using those eyes to help his case. "_Merlin_," The man in question began slipping away, "told me that Gwen had to tell me something," I felt my stomach drop, "so I came. It wasn't at all what it looked like." Glancing at Gwen, her gaze was upon the floor. Her face crimson with blush. Jealousy welled up inside of me, which shame covered up shortly after. Arthur hadn't pledged his love to me, and I had no right to claim him as mine. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed the pain that welled up inside with my next statement.

"It's okay, Arthur. If you and Gwen want each other, then you should have each other." Arthur shook his head, a smirk coming to his face. He looked at Gwen, nodding his head to the side, and immediately she left.

"For a moment, I thought you were jealous," he teased, moving closer.

"For a moment, I was," I admitted, blushing slightly. He shook his head.

"You have nothing to worry about," he assured me, brushing my cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

"What did Gwen have to say?" His grin faltered a bit.

"Nothing important."

"In other words, something important."

"All you need to know is that you don't have to be jealous." The grin was wide on his face now. "I can't believe you were going to give me up."

"Well, I thought you wanted to be with Gwen!" I replied, defending myself.

"You see us talking in the hall _once_ and think I want her?"

"Well, you were standing precariously closely," I mocked. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"On my life, I will never love another," he swore, kissing me softly on the lips. I pulled away.

"You do mean you'll never love anyone but me, right?" I taunted. He smirked, gazing down on me.

"Yes. I love you. Only you." His eyes gleamed deviously. "In fact, I'm going to marry you."

"What!" I exclaimed. "Your father would never approve!"

"Why not?" he inquired. "He loves you like he would his own daughter."

"He probably wants you to marry a princess," I explained. "Someone who can be an asset to Camelot. Bring peace between nations and so on." Arthur shook his head.

"I can do that without marrying a princess," he insisted. "_You_ will be my wife." And, in this moment, I believe him. He took me by the hand, let me back to his chambers, barring the door behind him. In those moments, all the promises were truth, and our love was forever imprinted on my skin.


	10. ises,

I'd slept fitfully through the night without one dream of Gwen and Arthur together, but was awakened by obnoxiously loud cheering that morning. Leaping from my bed, I expected to see Uther or the knights, or something else that the people were constantly cheering for. I was horrified to find myself utterly wrong.

Uther and Arthur stood to the side while, in the middle, there was a body surrounded by a wild mob, each person shouting and spitting at this headless figure. Uther than made his way to the center, lifting the head by the hair. A gasp escaped my mouth.

"Once again, we have seen the danger that magic brings upon our kingdom!" Uther bellowed, raising the head higher, allowing everyone to see it. "We have been able to stop it this time, but must always be aware that there are those who would wish to overthrow us. Camelot is still at risk!" With the end of his speech, he dropped the head into a bag that a servant was holding and made his way back into the castle. My eyes were fixed on the crowd, beginning to disperse, which had surrounded a large puddle of blood. How could Uther do this? My body finally catching up with my mind, I threw myself onto the bed and wept. He'd _murdered_ Mordred. Mordred. It almost didn't connect that he could actually be dead. Of course, I knew the immediate connection that it was my fault he was in Camelot at all, but I couldn't believe that Uther had actually _killed_ him. He was just a boy.

And Arthur had stood by and watched it happen. How could he? Anger welled up in my throat, forcing me to scream into my pillow.

"Morgana?" a shy voice inquired. I looked up to find Gwen's concerned face gazing at me, probably thinking I was insane.

"What?" I growled, glaring at her.

"I-Um-" she stuttered. "King Uther requested your presence, my lady." I felt almost animal-like, snarling, but did so anyway.

"Tell him that I will not see him." Her face paled slightly.

"But, my lady, the king-"

"Tell him that I will not see him." I snapped, making it forceful enough that she wouldn't dare question me again. How dare he kill an innocent boy and then expect me to see him? I wouldn't do it. I refused.

Minutes later, Arthur entered my chamber, pleading with me to see his father. I wouldn't hear of it, and then turned my rage towards Arthur.

"How could you just _watch_ your father kill a child?" I snapped, pacing back and forth.

"Morgana, it's not that simple," Arthur insisted, hands on his hips, letting out a deep sigh. "He's the king. I can't exactly defy him in front of all of Camelot."

"But in private!" I shouted. "You could've convinced him otherwise-"

"There was no private, Morgana!" He hook his head. "Merlin woke me up and told me that my father wanted me and the knights outside at dawn. Nothing more. When I went to the square, I had no idea that I would be witnessing a beheading." Tears ran down my face as I remembered Mordred's head being thrusted into the air.

"He was just a child, Arthur," I muttered into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me. "He was only a child."

"But he had magic," he replied, not realizing how this would affect me. "And he came into Camelot knowing full well what is done to those with magic." My heart began ripping apart again, picturing Mordred's headless body. I shook my head.

"How could Uther-"

"Shh…" Arthur pleaded, pulling me closer, kissing my forehead. "Shh."

That day, I pledged that I would do anything I could to kill Uther. It didn't matter the cost to my own life. Uther would die.


	11. mur

I eventually left my chambers a few days later, after properly mourning Mordred, and decided to revisit the subject of the _he_ that Merlin and Gaius had spoken of when I'd overheard them. I'd forgotten it in my escape and fake, self murder plans, but in the days after Mordred's murder, the conversation between these two haunted me. I needed an excuse to see them. I needed a dream.

"Gaius, may I speak to you?" I inquired, entering his workshop cautiously, trying to think of a dream that would be enough to convince Merlin to see _him_, whoever this _him_ was.

"What is it, my dear?" he questioned, a worry crease growing between his brows. His eyes had large bags under them, making me pity the old man. Perhaps his situation was not as black and white as I'd thought it to be. But with every thought that Gaius was to be pitied, another thought came to discard it. He and Merlin were hiding something from the rest of us, and I intended to find out what that secret was.

"My dream-I-" I stuttered, still grabbing at an idea. "I-" The thought suddenly hit me. "I saw Uther being murdered." It was partially true. I had been trying to find a clean way to do it for days, allowing it to consume me. The only other thoughts to enter my mind were of Mordred, whose murder haunted my dreams, and Arthur, who had spent every free moment with me.

Gaius' face grew pale as his imagination created his own version of my dream.

"It was just a dream, my dear," he lied, attempting to reassure me, believing that I was distraught at this thought. "Just put it out of your mind. You were obviously upset about the boy's death…His majesty is fine, though you refuse to see him." My eyes hardened in their gaze towards Gaius, remembering my vow not to see Uther. Forcing myself to soften, I nodded, then excused myself.

Hiding behind the door, I heard Merlin enter a few minutes later. Gaius explained what had happened, then asked Merlin what could be done.

"Do you really think there is anything we should do, Gaius?" Merlin inquired. "Maybe it's time." I could almost feel Gaius seething.

"The king shouldn't die of anything but natural causes," the physician insisted.

"But maybe it's time for Arthur to take the crown," Merlin persisted.

"Arthur's not ready." There was a pause for a few moments.

"How am I supposed to stop it? We don't know anything except that someone's trying to kill him."

"_He_ might-"

"No, Gaius," Merlin interrupted. "I owe him too much already."

"Then what is one more debt? Either way, you're letting him out once Arthur's king. If you prevent Uther's death, you can keep him in captivity for a while longer."

"…Alright." Footsteps approached the door, forcing me to retreat down the hallway. A moment later, Merlin was taking a hallway I'd never noticed before, and I couldn't help but follow. I quietly followed him down the staircase, taking every precaution not to be seen. When I reached the bottom, I hid in a corner of the rock that curved to create a cave.

"I need your help!" Merlin called out. From the darkness above came a dragon, swooping down to rest on its perch.

"Young warlock, you've asked for my help…How many times? Yet, you still haven't freed me," the dragon spoke, its voice etching into my brain.

"I promised-"

"And you have no fulfilled your promise, so I will not help you."

"Please! Uther will die if I don't."

"Why should I care if Uther dies?" the dragon questioned. "Uther imprisoned me here. Uther is the only reason you won't set me free."

"You have to help me!"

"That, my young warlock, is where you are wrong." Merlin paced back and worth in frustration.

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"That is for _you_ to decide." Merlin began up the steps shaking his head. "Merlin," the dragon called. "You still owe me my freedom."

-Please review!-


	12. der,

"Come out, witch," the dragon commanded, creating a boom in the rocks that pushed me forward.

"I am no witch!" I retorted, finding it the only thing I could say. My mind was reeling from all that I'd just witnessed. A _dragon_, a real dragon loomed before me; and Merlin…He had magic. That explained so much.

"You have yet to realize your true powers; but you will, in time," he assured me. "At least you have finally accepted your destiny."

"My destiny?" I questioned, wondering that this creature should know anything about it.

"Yes, Lady Morgana. Your destiny. From the beginning, you were meant to be an enemy to Merlin."

"That isn't why I'm here." The dragon chuckled.

"Of course not," he replied sarcastically. "So then, witch, tell me what you are here for."

"I need a way to kill Uther Pendragon." A large smirk spread across the beat's face.

"And what will you give me in return?" he inquired.

"What Merlin refuses to," I assured him. "Your freedom."

"If you do this, you cannot go back," he warned. "Destiny will be set in motion."

"Arthur will be king and I will be his queen and-"

"You and I both know it isn't so," he corrected. "It is not your destiny to be with Arthur."

"What if I were to fight fate?" I questioned. He shook his head.

"This is not the question you came to ask me. If you want a spell to kill Uther, I will give you one. But remember, witch, that you owe me my freedom."

"And you will have it the moment that Uther takes his last breath."

And so, I was given the spell that would take Uther's life. A murder for a murder. A life for a life; and Camelot would be the better for it. Arthur would take the throne, I _would_ be queen, and magic would once again be accepted in Camelot.


	13. mourning,

Sorry that it's been forever since I've updated! School has been crazy!

Finding the right time to kill a king is truly a tricky business. For all the times that I had seen him sick, I thought it would've been easier. However, I soon came to see that at almost every moment of the day, there was someone there to be a witness. Almost, being the key term. It didn't take me long to realize that Uther's sleep went unwatched, and that was where I decided I would take the plunge.  
Standing over him, I couldn't help but feel a slight amount of remorse. He had been like a father to me throughout my entire life, treated me like his own daughter. But the murder of Mordred still clung to my heart, making it harden against Uther. He'd committed so many wrongs, and here was his time to pay. I whispered the words the dragon had given me, then watched as Uther's breathing slowed, then stopped. It was done. I had done it. Justice was finally taken. I went to bed, not afraid of what I would dream. My future was made the moment Uther's heart stopped.  
My fate was secure.  
I was awakened by Arthur shaking me by the shoulders. "Morgana," he called to my clouded mind. "Morgana, please!"  
"What is it?" I muttered, my mind only half alert.  
"My father is dead." My eyes widened and I sat up.  
"What?" I questioned, almost believing that it had been a dream. Arthur looked drawn and pale as he drew me into his arms.  
"In the night. His heart just...Stopped."  
"Arthur, I-" I couldn't find words to say seeing as I was the one who had taken his father from him. How could I? Was my own thirst for vengence so great that it had overshadowed how Arthur would feel? In response to his tearing eyes, I kissed his forehead.  
"I should go prepare for the funeral," he stated coldly, trying to regain composure. I looked at him for a moment, then nodded. He would cope with Uther's passing in the only way he knew how. He would do what needed to be done, hiding feelings from everyone. Except me.  
Once Arthur had left, I hurried down to fulfill my promise to the dragon. Something told me that if I didn't do it at that moment, the dragon would wish to harm me later for it.  
"And so Uther is dead?" the dragon inquired. I nodded. "I wasn't sure that you would be strong enough." I glared at him.  
"Of course I was strong enough. Now, what must I do to release you?"  
"You are not the one to free me, witch." My eyes widened.  
"Then why did you give me the spell to kill Uther?" I shouted. The dragon smirked at me. Smirking, of all things.  
"Because it was the only way to set your destiny in motion," he reasoned.  
"My destiny? As determined by who? You?" I questioned, my eyes blazing fire.  
"Careful, witch," Warning was in his tone, but I would not heed it. "You do not want to make an enemy out of me."  
"You seem to know the future, dragon. You do not want to many an enemy out of me."  
"We shall see." With this, he flew into a hidden place of the cave, making it impossible for our comminication.  
Returning to the surface, I found Arthur in his room. Merlin stood in the corner, shining his armor, as was his usual. Arthur, however, lay on the bed, his face a blank expression.  
"Leave us, Merlin," I pleaded, wanting only to comfort my king. Merlin nodded, exiting quietly. I lay on the bed next to Arthur, taking his hand in my own.  
"Arthur," I whispered into his ear. He grumbled in response. Placing a tender kiss on his cheek, I turned so that I could kiss him on the lips. At first, he seemed only to be responding out of habit, but I slowly felt him become responsive. His grief, rage, and fear were all placed into these kisses. Into our love. What was to come, I was unsure of; but I knew the promises that Arthur had made. We would be together. Always.


End file.
